Alvin
“My name is Alvin. Sometimes I wish I had more middle fingers.”
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dimensions
height (standing): 11”
head width: 4”
arm span: 10.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Bazz
“My name is Bazz. There ain’t no party like a monsterami party cuz a monsterami party is… full of degenerates.”
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dimensions
height (standing): 12.5"
ear to ear: 6.5”
arm span: 12.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Cornelius
“My name is Cornelius. You can’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 11.5”
body width: 4”
arm span: 13”
hand crafted using acrylic and/or cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Deadmau5 - assorted colors
Please indicate your color choice during checkout. Colors are subject to availability.
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
approximate* dimensions
height: 11”
body width: 4.5”
ear span: 8.5"
arm span: 9”
* Actual size varies due to yarn/color. Different yarns are different thicknesses and will result in differing sizes.
hand crafted using acrylic and/or cotton yarn, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Dirk
“My name is Dirk. Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 10.5”
body width: 4”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Francesca
“My name is Francesca. Eat a cupcake and STFU.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 11”
head width: 4”
arm span: 10”
hand crafted using 100% cotton yarn, plastic safety eye, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Howard
“My name is Howard. Whenever I misbehave my dad threatens to stick his boot up my ass if I don’t knock it off.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 9”
body width: 3”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Jabars
“My name is Jabars. Beer is the reason I wake up every afternoon.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 11”
head width: 5”
arm span: 10”
hand crafted using cotton and/or acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing, toy sunglasses (no UV protection)
Jake
“My name is Jake. I love cookies. My dad made a rule that I can only eat 2 cookies a day. Sometimes when he’s taking a nap I go and sneak more cookies.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 9.5”
body width: 3”
arm span: 10”
hand crafted using cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Jan
“My name is Jan. I’m pretty on the inside, Bitch.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 8.5”
body width: 3.5”
arm span: 7.5”
hand crafted using 100% cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Kenny
“My name is Kenny. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 8.5”
body width: 4.5”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Keyring/Finger Puppet - assorted colors
Scare people away who want to steal the keys to your cool shit (and many other uses probably, too).
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
Assorted colors. If you have a color preference, please note in "Special Instructions," otherwise you will receive a randomly selected color.
finger puppet dimensions
height (standing): 2”
body width: 1.5”
arm span: 4.5”
hand crafted using cotton and/or acrylic yarn, felt, thread, keyring findings
Lionel
“My name is Lionel. I don’t know what I’d do without you, but I bet it’s awesome.”
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dimensions
height (standing): 9.5”
body width: 3”
arm span: 10”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Maggie
“My name is Maggie. I don’t recycle because I’m worried the garbage man will think I’m a huge alcoholic.”
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dimensions
height (standing): 13”
ear to ear: 6”
arm span: 12”
hand crafted using cotton and/or acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Marcus
“My name is Marcus. Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 8.5”
body width: 4”
arm span: 9”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Nice Pooper
“My nickname is Nice Pooper because I have a nice ass. It has nothing to do with anal.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 9”
body width: 5”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
OVERNIGHT SHIPPING OPTION
Prepay to have your order shipped overnight (via FedEx, UPS, or USPS). This $100 charge will be added to your invoice, but I WILL ONLY CHARGE YOU FOR THE ACTUAL AMOUNT OF THE SHIPPING.
** OVERNIGHT SHIPPING IS SUBJECT TO PRODUCT AVAILABILITY **
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Please indicate in the comment section during checkout which overnight delivery service you would like me to use.
Paul
“My name is Paul. I hate taking a shower. I shower every other day. I try to schedule all my activities on those days when I shower.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 4”
body width: 3”
arm span: 4”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Percy
“My name is Percy. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 8”
body width: 4”
arm span: 8.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Perez
“My name is Perez. I don’t like liars. If you lie to me, I will cut you. That is all.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 10”
body width: 4”
arm span: 11”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eye, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Peter
“My name is Peter. Sometimes my mom gets really mad at me and she screams at me and says she wishes I was never born. I ruined her life.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 8.5”
body width: 5”
arm span: 12”
hand crafted using cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Ricardo
“My name is Ricardo. Inner beauty won’t get you laid.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 10”
body width: 4.5”
arm span: 14.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Rosie
“My name is Rosie. I’m shy, but I’m easy and I give good head.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 7.5”
body width: 4”
arm span: 11”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eye, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Sanford
“My name is Sanford. I try to learn something from every relationship I am in. Sometimes what I learn is that I am shitty at picking relationships.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 9”
body width: 4”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Sherman
“My name is Sherman. I finally learned to love myself. And sometimes I think about you while I’m doing it.”
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dimensions
height (standing): 11.5”
head width: 4”
arm span: 10.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Stanley
“My name is Stanley. One time I put salt on a slug to watch it shrivel up and die. Then I felt bad because I killed it.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 6”
body width: 4”
hand crafted using acrylic and/or cotton yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Taylor
“My name is Taylor. My parents never used the real words for penis and vagina. For 10 years I thought what I had was called a Pee Machine.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height: 12”
body width: 4.5”
arm span: 13.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
Wine Bottle Topper - assorted colors
$12 FOR ONE WINE BOTTLE TOPPER
Dress up a bottle of wine to give as a gift. Keep yourself company when you are drinking alone. Scare people away from drinking YOUR bottle of wine. Can also be used as a finger puppet if you have giant fingers. There are an endless numbers of uses…
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
Assorted colors. If you have a color preference, please note in "Special Instructions," otherwise you will receive a randomly selected color.
For novelty/decorative purpose only. Does not act as a wine bottle stopper. Actual wine topper you receive may vary slightly from the one pictured.
dimensions
height: 3"
body width: 2"
arm span: 6"
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, felt, thread, nontoxic fabric paint
Zeke
“My name is Zeke. Sometimes I wear my pajamas all day and order pizza for dinner because I don’t want to leave the house. Before the pizza arrives I put on clothes because I don’t want the pizza guy to know I wore pajamas all day and judge me.”
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Made to order. Ships in 2-3 days.
dimensions
height (standing): 9.”
body width: 4”
arm span: 9.5”
hand crafted using acrylic yarn, plastic safety eyes, felt, thread, polyfill stuffing
